Working with 2014 Question 1, Sample D: Specificity in Timed Writing
DIRECTIONS: Sample D scored a 5 on the 2014 AP English Language Exam, Question 1 essay.
You are this writer's coach, and it is your job is to help him or her raise the score to a 6 or
higher by improving the precision and specificity of the writing. In general, keep the writer's
ideas and do not add to the content (except in #9 below). The changes called for address
words, phrases, and sometimes whole sentences that are awkward, imprecise, or too general.
Draw heavily on Hayakawa's Level One to get the best fixes-remember, Level One gets it
done! When replacing words or phrases, be sure to consider the context. Your revisions must
fit in with the existing sentences, and the final product should be a smooth read.
1. Replace "can be beneficial to one's life":