A Star-Spangled Catastrophe



Characters



ANGIE: Eighth grader, member of the media club

PETE: Seventh grader, soloist and member of the chorus

COMMENTATOR
[The curtain rises on Angie, who is sitting alone in the media booth above the football field. She is reading a book. Her feet are propped up on a desk. To her right a video camera facing the audience sits on a tripod.]

PETE: [Singing from offstage.] And the home of the brave!

[The audience can be heard applauding halfheartedly.]

COMMENTATOR: [From offstage.] Okay . . . um . . . thank you, Pete Mahoney, for that . . . And now the referee will get ready for the coin toss. [Voice fades.]

[Pete enters from stage right looking distressed. He is mumbling to himself.]

PETE: That was indisputably the most humiliating moment of my life. I mean, how could I—

ANGIE: [Peering around the video camera so that she’s in Pete’s line of sight.] What happened?

PETE: [Startled.] What? Who—oh. Hi, Angie. Did you not hear the desecration of the national anthem I just performed in front of an audience of 2,500 people?

ANGIE: I thought you sounded great. You were totally on pitch, which is more than I can say for the girl who sang at the last game.

PETE: How could you even tell? I forgot all the words. I nailed “O say can you see” and “the home of the brave.” Beyond that, the performance was pretty much a sing-along. [Exasperated.] Two thousand people just coached me to remember “o’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming.”

ANGIE: Well, maybe instead of instilling feelings of patriotism, you helped everyone think about teamwork. Thousands of people singing together? That’s inspirational.

PETE: [Sarcastically.] I’m so glad I could bring the audience together for some warm and fuzzy feelings. Meanwhile, I won’t be selected as the regular anthem singer for the school district next year.

ANGIE: [Laughing.] Don’t worry. You’re the best singer in the school, and you’re going to redeem yourself in about 30 minutes when you sing with the chorus during the halftime show. No one will even remember your tiny mistake.

PETE: TINY? I butchered it. I’m not going back out there. [On the verge of tears.] For all I care, you can have my solo in the halftime show.

The reader can conclude from this line that the commentator —
A knows that people did not notice Pete’s mistakes
B thinks Pete’s mistakes were funny
C is concerned that Angie was not able to catch Pete’s mistakes on film
D was not expecting Pete to make so many mistakes